The Work of Waiting
Have you ever been in a season of waiting? The kind of waiting that requires great patience and even stillness, stillness of mind and body as you wait for things to unfold.
As someone who likes to write to-do lists, jump in with both feet, solve problems, and tackle projects, often with catchy music playing in the background, a season of stillness and waiting is difficult. Have you been there? Most of us have hit those speed bumps in life when time stands still. Sometimes everything changes or there’s a forced break in our routine. In our frustration with the stillness, we may not realized that it is in this space that we do the most work. Or maybe I should say that God does the most work in us. Maybe it is simply His way of getting our attention so that we can quiet our minds and listen. Listen to His love for us. Perhaps even be shown a new unfolding plan! Perhaps He just wants us to learn the joy of stillness.
We come to those times in many different manners and circumstances. Sometimes it is a sudden accident or illness that stops us in our tracks, sometimes it is a child that needs held, or the stillness comes in rocking a baby late at night. Sometimes the stillness comes at the bedside of an elderly parent as we hold their hand praying peace over them. Sometimes the waiting comes in a period of bed rest during a pregnancy. So much waiting during pregnancy!
I remember a time in my life being so hectic and busy I would beg God for rest, but then when it came instead of embracing it gratefully I was restless. That’s the paradox isn’t it? Humans seem to never be satisfied with where they are in the present moment! We always seem to want the opposite of what we have. Maybe God keeps giving us these moments of stillness and waiting so we can learn. Maybe we could actually learn that true joy in life is resting in Him!
In the past few years we’ve all experienced a lot of waiting! Waiting to spend time with relatives and friends, waiting to go back to school, waiting to go back to work. Some of us left jobs and didn’t go back to work. Some of us had to wait to find a new job. Most of us had to wait to return to church. Such a long wait! Like it or not the last few years have brought many opportunities for learning patience and for waiting on the next chapter to unfold.
It has struck me that some of the most important work I have done in my life is during waiting. When my body may look still, but my mind, my heart, and my soul was quite busy. Busy in the stillness expanding into what God wants me to be, what He expects from me. Busy learning more about His expansive love. Last fall I had the opportunity to recover from eye surgery which limited my visual and physical abilities. It turned into a wonderful season of sitting in the sun talking to God and many times not talking at all. I began to crave being quiet and listening as the late autumn sun warmed my skin. What started as a scary time and huge inconvenience became a time of great blessing. As the months rolled on and I have waited for my vision to return it has become an entire season of waiting, growing, and learning. Have I been patient through it all? Absolutely not! Sometimes the frustration of waiting completely overwhelms me, I am impatient and even angry. Some days I have literally yelled at God asking why can’t this hurry up! Why can’t I see clearly yet - literally and figuratively. Everyday I ask God to illuminate my path forward. I haven’t seen it clearly yet but I know the path is there, perfectly laid out by the Father. Everyday I try to surrender and trust a little more.
Learning my recovery would mean multiple surgeries and months of healing left me discouraged and struggling. But one day I heard God tell me he has been trying to get me to rest for a very long time and that is why the extreme measures! I had to chuckle at that because I was probably like a little child kicking and screaming the whole time God was trying to get me the rest!
So here I am four months into my “speed bump” and still learning the work of waiting. Trying so hard to embrace this time instead of being frustrated with it. Trying to have a grateful, joyful heart in all seasons. Proverbs 31:25 says “. . .she laughs at the days to come” she doesn’t fear the future she embraces it joyfully and without anxiety. She finds peace in the present and hope in the future.
My prayer for all of us is that we find God and our true selves in the work of waiting. That our quiet days and busy days are filled with the joy and peace of the Lord!